Clerics on Friday identified deceit, poverty, lack of love, incompatibility, desperation and absence of family values as key factors responsible for the high divorce rate in Nigeria.
The Chairman of the Lagos State Chapter of the Christian Association of Nigeria, Mr Alexander Bamgbola, blamed increasing divorce cases on a lack of fear of God and passion for sin by couples.
Bamgbola argued that if a marriage was contracted without fear of God, it would never end well.
He said the increasing number of marriage collapses in recent years was worrisome.
``It used to be a thing of the western world but in the past 10 to 20 years, it has slowly crept into the Nigerian society. Reports show that there are 12,000 cases of divorces yearly in Nigeria.
``The family is the basic unit of society through which God inculcates values to children, who in turn build society and the world at large.
``In other words, a broken family produces broken children, which leads to a broken nation.
``There is only one reason I can give that covers any other reason you want to analyse and that is sin.
``The scripture says it clearly that righteousness exalts a nation but sin is a reproach to any people.
``For there is no other foundation that can be laid, except that which is laid by Jesus.
``God ordained marriages to be holy and the bed undefiled but the opposite is what we have now.
``It is so perverse that men now want to marry men and women marry women.
``This is far from what God intended and the lack of understanding of God’s purpose is destroying marriages not only in Nigeria but worldwide.
``This is far from what God intended and the lack of understanding of God’s purpose is destroying marriages not only in Nigeria but worldwide.
``The fear of God is missing. When people don’t fear God they tend to do whatever the devil places in their minds.
A Senior Lecturer at the Centre for Entrepreneurship Development at the Yaba College of Technology, Mr Luckmon Abdulraheem, advised couples to understand what marriage was all about before embarking on the marriage journey.
``Divorce cases are on the increase because people have lost the culture and essence of marriage. Marriage has become a fashion of desperation.
``Marriage is discipline, commitment and it is a contract. It’s not bed of roses. It’s not all sweet; there are ups and downs in marriage.
``There is a bitter and sweet aspect; you must have learnt all these before going into it.
``So I will recommend counselling, reading and value orientation. Today people marry for various reasons: for beauty, for money for pedigree.
``Some marry because of sex and at the end of the day; the girl cannot cook good food, nurture children and take good care of the home.
``Of course, there will be crisis in such families but where you have read and understood the essence of marriage you will be able to sustain it,’’ he said.
The Director of Communications of the Catholic Archdiocese of Lagos, Monsignor Gabriel Osu, said: ``as Christians, we do not approve divorce, once a marriage validation has been consummated there is no room for divorce.
Osu said that divorce --the separation of husband and wife was on the increase because such marriages were conceived in deceit.
``Simulation in marriage is a situation where one or either party goes through the process of exchange of marital vows knowing that they are not compatible.
``But because of societal pressure marriage was contracted. When couples are courting they think that they are compatible but by the time they live together, they find out that they were not meant for each other.
Osu advised that couples and intending ones should go for proper counselling and courtship before marriage, adding that they should have it at the back of their minds that they were not marrying a saint or an angel.
``They must understand themselves well and they should do everything to build a home together. They should respect and tolerate one another.
``That is why the church insists on marriage counselling, where you understand what marriage is all about.
``Lack of love can lead to divorce. Consent and love play vital roles in marriage.
``Marriage is not a child’s play it is not just to have children, there must be love involved between couples,” Osu said.
The spokesman of the Association of African Traditional Religion of Nigeria, Mr Lekun Ajirotutu, said that as Africans we should go back to the days when parents consulted ``Ifa’’ for their children.
``In the olden African context, parents of both families’ research one another to know if there is any disease, untimely deaths, and divorces.
``Now we don’t refer to that again, parents will simply take their children to church for marriage without contacting their extended families.
``In the olden days all family members where involved, so it will be difficult for the couple to come back and seek divorce.
``Even the couple will just go to the court with two witnesses to get married without their extended families knowing it’s not cultural and it’s not African.
``If there is a broken marriage the children are the ones that suffer. To reduce divorces in families, we should go back to the days when extended families are involved.
``Before contracting marriage we should go to Ifa to enquire if the marriage will last as such divorce cases or broken marriages will reduce,’’ he said.
Ajirotutu advised couples to be patient and show love to their spouses as marriage was all about patience and living a life of commitment.
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